Insomniac

***I did not write this while intoxicated, I have only had 5 hours or so of sleep over the past few days***
I seem to be going through a sleepless phase. Its not that I can't sleep, I can, just not at the proper time. Ill fall asleep at night wake up around 2 or 3 after the xani wears off (its ok its prescribed) and then not be able to fall back asleep until 11 am or so. On the plus side I have not only learned about both Daniel Boone and David "Davy" Crockett, each a 2 hour documentary, but also watched some priceless (ok, not normal priceless, more like the 3 easy installments of $29.95 and if you order in the next hour you get the second set of knives and the sharpener absolutely free! kind of priceless) infomercials. I'm talking classics like the Magic Bullet, knives, and then the more unusual ones that come on REALLY late . For instance some frightening girdle suit that skinnys down a woman from a 59" waist to a 51" waist just by putting it on- thats 8 whole inches people. And the cheapest made and by far most hilarious was the half hour attempt to sell a book that some "Doctor" wrote organic ways to get rid of backyard pests. The man had a plastic spider pinned to his shoulder and was using stuffed animals (the kind you give to children) and tacky lawn orniments to make his point. None matched or followed any pattern, nor were they near the right size (Well unless you live on Three Mile Island, then you might be dealing with a 12 inch tall chipmunk problem in your yard) but it just added to the enjoyable absurdity of the segment. Wish me luck on a good night's sleep, I'm starting to get loopy.

"We'll only be needing one menu, he isn't eating, he's stuffed"- Said the man with the coonskin hat. I've found, however that alot of pictures make it look less like a hat and more like some massive rodent jumped on Davy's head fanged him in the forehead and wouldn't let go. But since he's the King of the Wild Frontier he played it off like the he had killed the little fucker and made it into a neat cap with a tail. I bet that after becoming numb to the varmint fang pain in his forehead they probably became friends. I NEED SLEEP.